Hurry! Big Pol Sale Ends November 2nd!

… But there’s still plenty of influence to be bought at everyday low, low prices!

While the Citizens United Supreme Court decision might have set back the efforts of advocates working to introduce democracy to the United States, it had the beneficial effect of creating a new market for the buying and selling of political influence.  This is a great boon to those of us concerned about our sagging GDP.

The polling stations will close November 2nd, but don’t worry if you miss this window of opportunity.  Our still-tepid lobbying rules make it perpetual open season on members of Congress. Even Delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton (D., District of Columbia), who hasn’t faced a serious political challenger in years, has given lobbyists the “come hither.” According to a report in the October 18, 2010, issue of the National Review:

The “chair of the Subcommittee on Economic Development, Public Buildings, and Emergency Management”—as she described herself—called a lobbyist who had given to her “other colleagues on the Transportation and Infrastructure Committee,” but not to her.  And she was puzzled.  “I was, frankly, uh, uh, surprised to see that we don’t have a record, so far as I can tell, of your having given to me despite my, uh, long and deep, uh, work,” ... “In fact … my major work … it’s been essentially in your sector.”

I would fire the lobbyist not only for this oversight but also for failing to help the members of this Subcommittee draft their legislation.  As we learned from the Corrections Corporation of America’s work in Arizona, simply lining the pockets of legislators is not a vigorous enough exercise of our free speech rights.

Comments

[T-funk]

The Giants have won the World Series! It must be God's *punishment* for Nancy Pelosi and our liberal, homosexual lifestyle! Now we can focus on the ballot and choose which of our bought-and-paid-for pols we dislike least.

[Enrique the Gay Philosopher]

You think this victory puts the lie to our fire and brimstone fundamentalists, but they would argue that the Giants victory was God's way of punishing Texans for not discriminating against gays & lesbians severely enough.