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As the new business manager for the White Courtesy Telephone, I asked my assistant Pauline to check out the company we keep in our blogroll.  She found this post from Phil Cubeta on The Role of the Holy Fool:

If we are to cure the souls of our clients, or victims, much less our leaders, we must first cure ourselves of vanity, and of fear. The first sign of wisdom is Motley.  Anyone who thinks that The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and the like are enough is a Fool, and a bad one, lacking humor.  Ignorance, dogma, and complacency, bourgeois striving for measurable results denominated in inches, ounces, or dollars are virtues up to a point because they connect you to the mass market and the mass mind in a society devoted to base enjoyments.  But to cure yourself and others you must go a lonelier way.

Look at me, Phil.  Don’t slouch: What’s with all the big words, my friend?  What you write is the Old School thinking of a pre-networked age, more bricks than clicks.

Here, hop aboard the corporate torpedo.

At the White Courtesy Telephone, we believe it’s better to mesh strategically than reconfigure reactively. We know that without infomediaries like ourselves, subscriber communities will be forced to de-optimalize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one e-commerce and non-complex incentivization are often considered a terrific achievement.

Quick, Phil: Do you have a 24/7 plan for syndicating new paradigms? I didn’t think so.

We, on the other hand, will transform the power of metrics to exploit.  It may seem realistic, but it’s compelling.

What will you offer them, Phil?  Grown men and women in motley; overcooked servings of satire and parable.  If these things really had the power to change the world, they’d be illegal.  Moral truth is what’s traded on the New York Stock Exchange.

Here’s a few bucks.  Get yourself a new hat.  And here’s my card: call me if you want me to do for you what I did for Sean.

_____

Business-babble courtesy of the Corporate Gibberish Generator at AndrewDavidson.com.

Comments

[erasmus]

My board is beginning to get a decidedly corporate cast. I need to find a way to work some of these expressions into my next board presentation, especially the one about the torpedo.

[Chester Drawers]

Jeez, Phil, Hugh Janus made your picture taller! You must be standing in a room with ceilings twenty feet high!

(Better lighting that way, I reckon, not to mention the extra cube feet for bad gas to rise above nose level where it belongs...)

[Phil]

People seem to think I have no feelings, that I am just some butt of fun they can kick around however they please. I am trying to change the world here, people.

[Hugh]

Not with that suit you're not.

[Phil]

My theory is that to turn the world upside down, we must first turn our own butt in the air. I learned that from Diogenes who asked to be buried face down, so that come the world's over-turning, he would b face up.