White Courtesy Telephone

Think Impactful. Think Turn-Key. Think Sticky C2C.

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As the new business manager for the White Courtesy Telephone, I asked my assistant Pauline to check out the company we keep in our blogroll.  She found this post from Phil Cubeta on The Role of the Holy Fool:

If we are to cure the souls of our clients, or victims, much less our leaders, we must first cure ourselves of vanity, and of fear. The first sign of wisdom is Motley.  Anyone who thinks that The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and the like are enough is a Fool, and a bad one, lacking humor.  Ignorance, dogma, and complacency, bourgeois striving for measurable results denominated in inches, ounces, or dollars are virtues up to a point because they connect you to the mass market and the mass mind in a society devoted to base enjoyments.  But to cure yourself and others you must go a lonelier way.

Look at me, Phil.  Don’t slouch: What’s with all the big words, my friend?  What you write is the Old School thinking of a pre-networked age, more bricks than clicks.

Here, hop aboard the corporate torpedo.

At the White Courtesy Telephone, we believe it’s better to mesh strategically than reconfigure reactively. We know that without infomediaries like ourselves, subscriber communities will be forced to de-optimalize. Our feature set is unmatched, but our one-to-one e-commerce and non-complex incentivization are often considered a terrific achievement.

Quick, Phil: Do you have a 24/7 plan for syndicating new paradigms? I didn’t think so.

We, on the other hand, will transform the power of metrics to exploit.  It may seem realistic, but it’s compelling.

What will you offer them, Phil?  Grown men and women in motley; overcooked servings of satire and parable.  If these things really had the power to change the world, they’d be illegal.  Moral truth is what’s traded on the New York Stock Exchange.

Here’s a few bucks.  Get yourself a new hat.  And here’s my card: call me if you want me to do for you what I did for Sean.

_____

Business-babble courtesy of the Corporate Gibberish Generator at AndrewDavidson.com.

M. L. King Meets an Unreconstructed Venture Philanthropist

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V.P.	Dr. King, welcome. Please have a seat.  Now, remind me again what your project is about.
KING	Several weeks ago a member of our community, Mrs. Rosa Parks, was arrested for refusing to vacate her bus seat for a white passenger. To protest this injustice, this past December 5th we urged all people of conscience to boycott Montgomery’s buses. Our organizing effort was very successful, and the following evening, at a meeting of ministers and other community leaders, we formed the Montgomery Improvement Association to continue the boycott. I was chosen to lead that effort.
V.P.	Ah, yes, here’s your proposal. You requested funds to organize carpools, hold weekly meetings with community members, and, together with the NAACP, legally challenge Montgomery’s bus segregation ordinance.
KING	That’s correct.
V.P.	Desegregating Montgomery’s buses is certainly a worthy goal, Dr. King, but I’m afraid I have some bad news for you: your proposal was denied funding. A report from our Research Department tells me that activists in other communities have attempted bus boycotts in recent years, to no effect. I also see from your resume that you have no track record of leading a social change movement …
KING	That’s true, but I firmly believe that the hope of a secure and livable world lies with disciplined noncomformists, like myself and others, who are dedicated to justice, peace, and brotherhood.
V.P.	Yes, well, permit me to share some of the reviewers’ comments. One of them worries about your business model and the scalability of your efforts. He’s especially concerned about sustainability issues. You write in your proposal that you plan to pass the plate at community meetings and solicit support from other civil rights organizations. Do you have any firm commitments?
KING	Not as yet, but—
V.P.	Dr. King, with all due respect, any social venture worthy of the name requires, at the very least, a plausible theory of change. You write in your proposal that you believe “unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. That is why right temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.”
KING	Those are my words.
V.P.	Well, that’s all rather speculative, don’t you think?