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« Exiled in Philanthropy: Lit, Poli Sci, and Other Majors Welcome! | Main | How To Manage The Poor: The Bourbon Doctrine of Preemption »

October 01, 2012

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Grace

What wine are they pairing with the Lake Como poached perch? Good wine is essential for figuring out the root causes of poverty and other stuff that we visionaries on the front-lines of social change have to think about.

Albert

The grantmakers get wine. The rest of you lot get metrics.

Tidy Sum

I subscribe to an obscure (and pricey) newsletter called PhilanthroTrend that also offers its predictions for the coming year.

I’ll quote them directly:

"Fans of Battlestar Gallactica will be delighted at the emergence of Social Impact Blondes - attractive cyborgs that scour philanthropy and TED conferences for donors interested in capitalizing strategic investment bonds. They will provide no data about impact but offer coupons for Starbucks and iTunes.

Advocates of strategic philanthropy will be thrilled with KickFunder. KickFunder buys up underperforming foundations and sells them at a discount to developing countries in exchange for IMF and World Bank debt forgiveness.

Our Twitter feeds are buzzing about the proposed new IRS “BIZ-Corp” status designation. This would allow foundations to directly fund for-profit businesses. This would save millions of hours of time spent discussing how nonprofits should act more like businesses and eventually eliminate the nonprofit sector altogether allowing the genius of private enterprise and markets to solve social ills.

Those of you who attended the COF conference this year probably picked up a pen or stress ball from the QuantAggregator booth. QA is ready to launch the beta-phase of its product that eliminates so-called “fuzzy” variables such as faith, justice, charity, compassion, intuition etc. in philanthropic decision-making. It compiles nonprofit performance data, leadership metrics, and financial impact resonance testing and uses a Hidden-Beldrov Algorithm to make funding decisions.

Finally, we expect the dramatic rise in electing people of color to foundation boards to continue - shattering all previous records. Our trendlines show that 7 Latinas, 3.5 Asian men, and at least two Black men are likely to be elected to leadership roles in foundations 2013."

Albert

I should sign up for your newsletter. There’s clearly a lot of money to be made from human misery.

Albert

BTW, Tidy Sum, you should be much more widely read than you are. And admitting that you read this blog is what our colleague Phil Cubeta over at Gift Hub calls a "career-limiting move."

Lucy Bernholz

This is great. I'm going to repackage all these ideas and claim them for my own, a trick I learned as a philanthropy consultant Can you predict elections, also?

Albert

Lucy, you're welcome to them, warts and all.

You OK with that, Tidy Sum, or are you also angling for a weekend at Bellagio? Maybe Lucy can take you along, introducing you as a colleague who's doing pioneering work in Medium Data.

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