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August 06, 2012

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Grace

You forgot FOUNDATION MAKEUP!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QAe503dqhiw

i.a.t.

Or that new spray, BULLSHIT AWAY!

Barbara Sanderson

Dear Mr. Resuga:

Thank you for your review of our products.

We would like to inform your readers of optional upgrades of the Initiative-a-Lator:

1) The Logic-Modulator: Socially constructs positive outcomes for all initiatives regardless of efficacy into tidy linear models.

The dashboard (and who does not love dashboards?) of the Modulator uses our patented “Metrics Cloud” technology.

The system can generates an overwhelming set of believable social indicators about complex social phenomenon and can attribute causality to all of your grants with a touch of a button.

2) We are also pleased to announce an upgrade to the “ROIDS” or Return on Investment Data System. It can now upload a “big data” dump from GuideStar and the Foundation Center.

The system monetizes your philanthropy and creates collateralized grant options that you can sell in the philanthrocapitalist marketplace.

Thank you for your interest in our growing product line.

Sincerely,


Barb Sanderson, Director of Marketing and Communications.

Strategic Philanthropic Impact Technologies

I. N. Flammation

I can vouch for the ROIDS product. One of my colleagues got the High Efficiency Matrix Manipulation Applet or HEMMA-ROIDS model, and that's helped her get to the bottom of her data dump challenges.

Ernst

LOL! Bare ass! You can see it right through his pants! =:-o

Ernest

I don't know how you guys do this work. You must be Aliens or something.

Roger White

I am sorry but...what is the Intiative-a-lator exactly?

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